Tag Archives: The Onion
The Onion: “Supreme Court Justices Gather In Chambers To Receive Latest Mission From Large Talking Head Of Justice John Marshall”
Here. An excerpt, quoting Chief Justice Marshall: “Remember: The fate of federal shipping regulation depends upon you!”
Here is “Struggling Justice Alito Sent Down To Lower Federal Court.” Previously, the Court unveiled its spring line: “Supreme Court Debuts New Spaghetti Strap Sun-Robes For Spring.”
Here. It’s hit and miss, but the best line is that sales have been slow at his office.
Here. An excerpt: WASHINGTON—Striking down the judicial precedent that established the legal supremacy of right over wrong more than two centuries ago, the U.S. Supreme Court on Wednesday overturned Right v. Wrong. The landmark reversal—a bitterly contested 5-4 decision that … Continue reading →
From the Onion: BILLINGS, MT—In what is being called the largest wildlife embezzlement scheme in more than 40 years, Department of Interior employee Stephen Kendrick, 48, was caught Monday diverting large sums of wolves from Yellowstone National Park into an … Continue reading →
From the Onion: CHICAGO—The proud and ancient Cherokee Nation was thrust into the spotlight during a taping of The Oprah Winfrey Show this week, taking center stage as one-eighth of actress Cameron Diaz’s ancestry. “How exotic,” Ms. Winfrey commented on the What … Continue reading →